November 8, 2008

To (un)freeze the time

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:43 am by qballkubal

clarity

My friend once told me that when she moved here for the first time, she felt as if her time was frozen. She felt that her life was suddenly stopped. In other words, she felt numb at that time. I didn’t realize about her feeling back then, for I didn’t think such state of mind would ever exist.

I was totally wrong.

Now I realize that I am trapped into the same conundrum, when my own time is frozen. If I think about it once more, I would realize that my friend is more fortunate than me. She realized that she had a problem and was trying her best to fix it. Me? I just stubbornly deny it again and again.

Until I was totally tired.

Tired of the same negative thoughts, tired of the same feeling of anxiety. I somehow become aware that there is something wrong with me, more in my soul rather than my body.

Hehehe, don’t get me wrong here. I am not typing another whinny complain about life nor desperate statement. I just found the true clarity in my head (actually, I had several chances to get the same clarity, only that I was too stubborn to take more attention to it). Now, I will try to fix myself. Hope this time I can get over with all unnecessary thoughts.

Picture from pigofhappiness.