December 9, 2008

The racing thoughts….

Posted in Just chattering... at 12:34 pm by qballkubal

boystanding3

This happens sometimes, although not quite often. It is the time when I feel like I am being thrown back into the same starting point, at the same circle in my life. If you think this is what they called a reborn soul, then you’re wrong. In this state somehow I feel numb, like I have done everything and don’t know what to do anymore.

It might sound simple, but I just can’t get it out of my mind. I become anxious, nervous, and feel like my mind is about to explode at any moment.  I guess being perfectionist and an obsessive compulsive could bring more harm rather than good.

What do I do to calm myself down? Listening to the jazz could be one of the remedy. Yet, I realize that I need a solitude place. An isolated place. Where all I can hear is nothing but myself.

Perhaps, that’s the reason why I like mountains rather than sea. And that’s the reason why I like mosque when it’s empty rather than filled with people in Friday. In that mosque, I feel like I can feel His presence, His existence, and His mighty being. The vast and empty space was like filled with Him. and when I can get through that moment, I feel somewhat relaxed. The burdens in my shoulder were like being pulled away. And I get my clarity in my mind again.

Phew, I guess what I need is a holiday where I can go hiking the mountain and find a small-isolated mosque inside it.

Picture from Laurie Assadi.